Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Life... It's a little crazy

I started this blog as a way of sharing my sometimes crazy stories and also just so I can have an outlet. So I have some friends, all of whom are single, and my stories are more than likely not
the most exciting thing to them at this point in their lives. So here I am, talking to myself on a computer hoping that someone somewhere who is interested is listening. :)

   I moved away from home at the age of 18 with every intention of going to college, graduating, starting a career, and THEN a family. Well life has it's twists and turns and plays out the way it is going to and was meant to. So the new order of things is now: a little bit of school, a family, graduation, and still working on the career part. As I transitioned into the family part of life, you can only imagine a.) what shock it was to find out I was pregnant and b.) what a HUGE shock it was to find out I was having twins.

     I will spare you the details of my movie-worthy delivery process and fast forward to today. The girls
unfortunately were not sent with a user manual, so I am kind of figuring this thing out one day at a time. For a while I felt as though most moms were the "do it all" kind of mom. You know, the ones who stay at home, cook, clean, bake, do laundry and all the while teach their children the alphabet in sign language by the age of 6 months. Oh trust me I've tried time and time again. I even, surprisingly enough, bought the stinkin'  sign with baby package, which still beautifully decorates our bookshelf.

    My daughters are now three years old and for the first time in a long time I finally feel as though I am resurfacing. I have in the last three months, gone on two trips without the girls and without D. The first time I was feeling a little guilty and was rushing home the next day at 8 am so that I could get home in time to make breakfast. The second time, not so much. It has finally dawned on me that all of this craziness that has taken over my every being is not because the girls have been driving me crazy 24/7 (well that has a little to do with it), but simply because I have created this perfect mommy image in my head that no normal person would be able to uphold for three years without going crazy. Because guess what??! It does NOT exist.

   Never before have I felt so enlightened. All these years and all I needed to realize was that the perfect mom does not exist. Well, she probably does exist somewhere but is very rare. And  for my sanity purposes, she does not exist. Not in my world anyways. Nor will she ever.

    Just recently I discovered, by accident, the world of Mom Blogs. I felt as though I had reached my calling. Finally, someone who I can relate to, and not feel so bad about the not so perfect Mommy-ing I've been doing. Then I thought to myself, I think I can do that and actually feel better, come the end of a "traumatic" day filled with tantrums, screaming, fighting, and of course the occasional potty accident. So here I am ready to spill it all. All for the world to see... what my version of "Perfect Mommy" is sprinkled with  a hint of crazy.  

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